When it comes to names, we're loyal to royal

Ian, Jim, Will, Bill, Steve G, Barbara, Bobb, Glenn, Edgar, Mary, Bob Birchard, Jeanette, Joan, Ray

Why is it that there are so many names with royal roots? America has long have a love affair with aristocractic names like Earl, Duke, Prince and so on, but it is easy to forget that such common first names as Rex, Regina and even Ian have royal origins. Even if a first name doesn't actually invoke a title, those that have recently been used by a royal (or, in the US, a showbiz star) suddenly become popular. The absent Lynne's second name is Elizabeth, and she was born not long after QE2 ascended the throne. Robert is of course very popular both at Conrads and throughout the land, and that has a long and distinguished history. Girls get a much worse deal, because their parents often want to give them something distinctive - like Sharleen, Jayleen, Chardonnay, Sparkles. This is also a class issue: there is a custom among wealthier families to name the son after the father, hence the US inclination towards calling people Hiram Jehosophat the Fourth. I don't escape this because I was named after my father, who was peeved I didn't inflict Williamness on either of my sons.
The crashing stock market is a growing cause of concern for the dwindling savings of our merry band. I could bore for Britain on this one, and dedicated masochists can see my views last Sunday and this on www.timesonline.co.uk by putting William Kay in the search box. Suffice to say it's bad and it's going to get worse, so pay off your debts and save in the safest places you can find.
Will recalled how offended he was to find Mount Rushmore, with its carvings of white US Presidents, on Indian land, sparking a debate about cultural colonialism. Ian argued vehemently that we were doing other races a favor by bringing them art, music, literature and TV shows that they couldn't have invented for themselves, as their own culture was so limited. But if all you have are cave paintings and tom-toms, there's a limit to what you can produce. The electric guitar has much to answer for, good and bad. Anyway, native Americans have casinos.
John McCain's line in his convention speech about Palin working 'by hand and nose' led us naturally to nose jobs: Cher (unnecessary) v Streisand (absolutely essential) and the need for stars to keep updating or even reinventing themselves through cosmetic surgery. But then, with the advances in CGI, surely all future stars will have to do is to preserve their 30-year-old selves on a hard disk and never age?
Ian rounded off a fascinating evening by admitting that he is in that sad class of male that finds Sarah Palin sexy because of her schoolmarm hairdo and glasses, leading to lascivious throughts of the hair being let down and the glasses being tossed off...and whatever else comes to hand.

CAUGHT ON THE BREEZE
Dodgers are top of NL West and I hope some of that luck rubs off on me.
A new illness afflicting the Republican party: Sarapalin
Even the best sfx can't make John Wayne act
You've heard of walk on, well you're just a talk on
Pantages theaters were a magic place
I'm just a bit-part player, Will's the star