Hitchin' a Ride

Glen, Ian, Edgar, Jim, Opal, Ellen, Bill, Lynne, Bobb, Barbara, Ray, Jeanette, Steve L, Bob
Oct 5

Sorry about the lack of a diner blog last week, but I wasn't at Conrads and as far as I know no one else has recorded what was said that evening. We may never know what we missed...
The new additions this week were a British singer-turned-producer called Opal and his wife Ellen. Opal was born near Brighton but for many years they have lived in Oakland, near San Francisco. A tubby chap, same age as Ian, fond of wearing shorts (as do Bobb and Steve L). Like Ian Opal has kept every scrap of his English accent - me too, but that hardly counts as I've only been here a couple of years.
Opal was in the booth across from Ian, so naturally they talked through their different showbiz careers, from Opal's 60s soul group, the Frays, to the modern scene.
We moved on to transportation and the tantalising question for all southern Californian motorists: Why are the Chinese the worst drivers? Easy to work out why the Germans are reckoned to be the best, followed by the British, both very orderly in our way. Glen suggested that the Chinese refuse to be regimented, which may explain why all those soldiers ended up being turned into terracotta.
But it also gave Glen the opening to explain why, given the opportunity, he prefers trains. Not only prefers them, he likes hitching free rides on freight trains, a risky hobby as it is illegal and he admitted he had had a .38 pulled on him. His defence, he explained was to be well dressed and well equipped so as not to be mistaken for hobos who actually needed the ride. Whether this endears him and his friends to the railroad staff was not clear, but for Glen it's all worth it just to be able to stand in an open boxcar with the wind in his face. Rita has been with him once, but now forbids him.
Ian had an equally dramatic transportation tale of an escapade flying by mistake from Sussex to Russia in his uncle's light plane, hopping from country to country in fog - you see, American friends, it's not just London that gets fog (matter of fact I've experienced it on the 210, but that's another story).
Ian and his uncle were eventually apprehended under suspicion of being Soviet spies, but his uncle's impeccable accent got him a billet in the officers' mess while Ian had to explain his way out of his trendy leather jacket. The perils of being a fashion icon.


CAUGHT ON THE BREEZE
In the 60s it was all that Stones crap
OJ got convicted and you know what? Nobody gives a damn
I'll tell you how to make money - get a job in the Mint!
In the old days the straight man got 60% of the money because the comedian needed him to set up the jokes
Dick Tracey is like a dream world